Confused Husband

September 12, 2007 

My wife is Seasonally Bipolar and has hypo-thyroidism. Before I met her, unbeknown to me, her prior relationships all began in the summer and ended in the winter. I proposed to her in the summer but, when fall came, I was “postponing” the wedding a few times.

She was then diagnosed with depression, took an SSRI at noon, didn’t tell me and by 5:00 p.m. that same day was wonderful (hypomanic) though she did tell me that she saw herself as “dressed in white, illuminated, almost Holy.”

Our relationship began to struggle incredibly each winter and each year was a little worse. One winter, my Sunday-school wife thought a cop and a Hotel guard wanted to rape her, so she defended herself aka taking a swing at them.

Over the last 7 winters, there was only one winter where there wasn’t a problem, and that’s when she was on Zoloft.

I thing what happened is that because a woman’s depressed episode comes first, that my wife’s manic episodes were as intense as the preceding depressed episode such that the Zoloft did help.

Anyway, to make a long story short, this winter, I disagreed with her over eggs and the way she saw it, I attacked her (aka persecutory delusion – I was perceived persecutor #8, all of which follow a general theme of her consuming alcohol, then a man attacks her that somehow has to do with sex) and she called 911. The cop says, “I don’t think there should be an arrest but, the mandatory arrest law requires that I arrest someone and although there’s no sign of an attack or threat, she says she’s scared and that’s enough to warrant the arrest.

I am now charged with domestic abuse.

If found guilty my name will go on a list of potentially violent people to be tracked.

By trade, I am a children’s self-defense instructor.

My wife was coached by a crisis center on how to get a four year restraining order against me making it illegal for me to contact her but, she has repeatedly ask me to contact her. This was very hard on me.

She got an attack lawyer and filed for divorce. Her attorney advised her to not sign our bank renewal papers and now our business and six generation farm are now both in foreclosure.

She talks with my family, telling them how I attacked her.

It turns out her mom is bipolar and knew that it was genetic and never told any of her kids.

At one point, I was stressing over suicidal thoughts and the 911 call and preparing for the divorce temporary hearing so I went to the courthouse public records where I stumbled upon documents that my wife also accused every man that she has had a significant relationship with of domestic abuse, and her first husband did kill himself.

I lost 25 pounds in 31 days, couldn’t sleep or eat, had severe dizzy spells, couldn’t talk and had developed a stress induced tic when I went to my doctor with FMLA papers in hand saying “Dr., I have a coping disorder.” The doctor listened to my reasons and said “Your wife is obviously bipolar.”

I am controlling with good intentions, the kind of guy who would make the mistake of trying to “make” someone happy, instead of understanding that only they can make themselves happy, all I can do is help. This type of personality is flawed by thinking the end results are more connected to my actions than they are. This is not a good match for a bipolar spouse.

I’m still so confused.

Man’s law says it’s a felony if I contact her but, God’s law says that I am responsible to her, as a husband, through sickness and in health, and God’s law trumps man’s law but, I don’t think God wants me to go to jail either.

Through my lenses, I see her like being possessed. Like part of her is pleading to me

“PLEASE HELP ME!” and the other part is saying “F–K YOU!”

I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

The Divorce will be done soon.

I’m doing a little better each day but, the tic seems permanent.

It really hurts to hear our friends comment about how I “attacked my wife”.

How does a guy move on?

My sympathy to those of you who share my pain. I wish I had more answers.

Here’s the closest thing to an answer that I can provide:

When I brought my FMLA papers to my doctor, because I had lost my ability to talk, I wrote a poem to communicate with my doctor called “Fighting THE PERFECT ADVERSARY – A true story” in which the last paragraph goes something like this: Yes, though he (bipolar) may have taken the very jewel of my heart, and the majority of my family of whom I held most dear, and though he has brought me face to face with my own death, more than once, he has not killed me and I have discovered his identity and I will now fight him with the only tool that I know to work against him – education.

Confused Husband (about his responsibilities to his wife)

(If she is in a state of being accountable, then I think she has broken the marriage covenant but, if she is not in a state of being accountable for her actions, then I think the marriage remains intact. The question then becomes “How to discern through this question?”)

31 Comments

  1. hello confused husband and rightfully you should be.

    I’m a bipolar woman and had been diagnosed for 25 years. I understand what your going through actually my husband can better as he has been on your side of the table for 17 years now.

    I’ve never called the police on him and he has had to restrain me in some of my very out of control moments of my episodes.

    We have come very close to divorce with it being both couldn’t handle this illness.

    He has however also been my biggest supporter and without his understanding and that of my children who have had to learn to understand it and Mommy sometimes just is not herself

    I read stories like yours and feel so horrible to what i’ve put my husband through in the past and afraid I will put him through it in the future.

    We have found ways to control it as best as possible especially in those most stressful times.

    Good luck in the future, If it’s okay I would like to link you up to my bipolar blog to help other husbands and wives out there who live with someone with it or those of us with it can see the other perspective, the reality we never believe to be true.

  2. I feel so sad reading this for you. My partner acts exactly the same and accuses me of assualt and battery for pushing him away once when she was actually assaulting me and being verbally aggressive. He has assaulted me 3 times during hypomanias, and denies these calling them alleged assaults. It is so dreadful being disbelived by all, and lied about to family, friends, members and doctors. I have never been able to defend myself during any of thesec assaults for fear I would be hurt further. I have only ever pushed him away when coming towards me threateningly, and given hom one feeble clout on the shoulder after yelling at me and threatening me. This was long after all his assaults. His illness has hurt me so much with his aggressive, abusive comments, but I try to remember all the time it is not the person talking or acting at all. It is the illness, and they have no control over it. Did you actually touch your partner during this row about eggs? You did not say. Things can get out of hand very quickly, and it is tempting to lash back even once, even in a minimal way, but this t and be misconstrued, though understandable, it will never help, becuase they will use it against you at any opportunity and exaggerate the event, so always walk away if you feel like retaliating. I feel like strangling him, but only figuratively speaking because he can be incredibly cruel to me. This is very common with this condition during the manic or hypomanic phases. However, this is not him at all. I know this as he is the kindest of people when he comes out of it and very remorseful of this behaviour. However, unfortunately he forgets all that once in another episode again, and behaves as bad again, and justifies all his behaviours. If he has gone as far as charging you in court and lieing so much, I suggest you do leave and get a divorce unless she can fully retract her charges and admit in writing her own loss of perception and distorted thinking if she can receive treatment and be stabilised. This may be very dfifficult.

    Good luck. Jill

  3. During one time when my wife was having a manic episode, I became so frustrated with our “discussion” that I went to the basement and threw every single piece of furniture I could lift against the block walls – a table, several chairs, and a rocking chair, including tipping over a bookcase. I completely smashed an old antique rocker of my wife’s. At the time, it felt pretty good until I found out that it would cost me $300 to fix the rocker and it would probably never be the same.

    During our arguments, my wife would twist everything I’d say and use it against me, accuse me of everything imaginable, and then some, and make life a living hell for me and our two kids.

    Life is pretty good now and has been for the past couple years, but I feel awfully bad for anyone who has to experience times such as these. When you describe it to people, they just can’t believe it, because it is so incredibly incomprehensible.

    By the way, when I took the rocking chair to have it repaired, the guy asked me, “Whoa, what happened to this?!” I told him that I threw it against the wall in the basement. He asked, “Why did you do that?” And I said, “Because I couldn’t lift the piano.” (Just a little bipolar humor to lighten up the discussion.)

  4. On 2/11/08 my wife attacked my with hot kettle of soup, hot water to the face, three times with an iron lamp, a 15 lb jug of soap the jaw and head, kicking a knee she broke a year ago, and hit me with a chair, she fell and cut her head, for that I am charged with a felony, she stated that I punched her 20-30 times in the face, I am a recently discharged Army Veteran, and know how to fight, if I hit someone that many times they would be giving interviews, they would likely be in a come, she was off her meds and an alcoholic, we were married 6 months ago, and now all the charges and the divorce are pending, my heart is broken and I am so lonely without her, the evidence packet supplied by the police and the medical assure I did not hit her with anything, yet she lied about it all and denies her assaults on me. I just took it all because I could and loved her so, now she has turned on me and the oder for protection will not be lifted so we can get counseling and help. So Bless all of you who suffer in a mess like this. I pray so hard for Gods help and pray for you all. Old Sarge

  5. Well, I guess I’m not the only person who lives in a nut house. I feel all of your pain. Sometimes it just seems surreal. When I tell one of my three friends yet another chapter in the saga, they can’t believe it. They always say, “I don’t know how you can stand it!” I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by trying to keep the train on track or if I really just have some kind of sick need for torture.

  6. I feel really sorry for you. You should probably know that this disorder gets progressively worse if left untreated.
    Has your wife ever been diagnosed? If so, that should help you out a lot. I would also see about getting the restraining order removed. In some instances – especially dealing with children – it can look as bad as a conviction.

    I also wouldn’t worry too much about how God sees your divorce. 1 Corinthians 7:15 says that since she didn’t want to abide in the relationship, you are now free.

    Good luck.

  7. Hi all,

    I hope someone can help me fast. My wife whom I really suspect has bipolar disorder recently left me and my 15 yr old son. She has been on Lexapro for about 10 years, and the only way she would take it was because she honestly believed it was for migraine headaches. It seems whenever something dramatic happens in our life this comes to the forefront. About 2 years after she had my son, she was placed in the hospital because she would go off and think she was someone else… tried to jump out of a car ….

    She was thrown out of the hospital for having an affair with someone there. I forgave because I knew it was a sickness. It took me about a year and a half to get her to settle down after having her committed. She found a doctor who told her she suffered from migraines and put her on Norvasc and Lexapro. I always knew what the Lexapro was for (depression) but as long as she took it ok.

    She had a hysterectomy about 8 weeks ago and has started again this time without any anger or feelings at all for that matter. She has been going to work and crying saying she was afraid to come home and has told people I hit her… all untrue. I was taking my 15 yr old son to school, and he asked me if his mom was bipolar.

    She would go from loving me one minute to telling me she didn’t feel anything for me the next. She started an affair with a guy at work, and before I knew this she came home really depressed. My son and I tried to ask her to see the doctor but she insisted she is fine. She told us she was going to her mom’s to think for a couple of days (this was 3 weeks ago), and she now wants a divorce, which I had to file to protect my son and myself.

    I saw her today, and she has lost I would say about 25 pounds and looks bad. She is either extremely high or has no mood at all, and her son who used to be her pride and joy she no longer tries to see. This is her 2nd marriage. She also has a daughter (23) who lives with her dad and I always believed it was his fault for their divorce (he was also 18 yrs older than her), but he has told me it was pretty much the same thing. Am I off my rocker here or does she have a bad problem?

    I love her so much and would do anything for her. I want my marriage of 18 yrs back, I want my wife back, and I want our life back. Thank you.

    Joe

  8. Hi, Joe

    Except for the affairs you mentioned, I felt I was reading about my own situation when I read your comment. It definitely sounds as though your wife is experiencing a mixed episode (mania and depression).

    I just checked my own wife out of the hospital after a brief stay. She came home and seemed fine. The doctor gave her something to help her sleep. She didn’t sleep the night I brought her home. She ran some errands during the (next) day and thinks everybody is talking about her and conspiring against her. The computers were down at the bank, and she thinks it’s because of her.

    She left yesterday and is staying with her mother. She has an appointment with her therapist today. I hope she keeps it.

    Your wife really needs treatment, especially for the mania. Lexapro probably won’t help treat the manic pole of bipolar and certainly won’t treat any psychosis that might be mixed in. (As an SSRI, Lexapro might even be responsible for making your wife’s mania even worse.) She needs to go to a doctor who’s experienced in treating bipolar to get an accurate diagnosis and begin treatment. (My guess is that she really needs to be on a mood stabilizer, particularly if she’s still taking Lexapro.) Then, she needs to stick with her treatment.

    I believe you have a good chance of getting your wife and your life back, but the bipolar needs to be treated first. Only then can you and your wife and your son effectively deal with all the fallout.

    I’m with you, Joe. We’re dealing with the same nightmare right now. I often wake up hoping it was just a bad dream.

    The other Joe

  9. The big problem is she thinks she is perfectly fine and doesn’t need a doctor or any other thing. I think since the hysterectomy my wife thinks she is 16 again and she can leave us and start all over. She refuses to see any mood swings even after my son and I and her friends have told her. Her dad who once thought I was a great son-in-law says I have turned everyone against her. This is not true. The people who love her see it and want her to get help. I am also concerned because she draws blood at a lab at a hospital and the thought of something happening is hard to think of. Are people who have bipolar in the state I described able to function correctly at work? She now says she cares about my health and what happens to me, but there is a hole in her heart where I used to be. I don’t know how to take that. Any help?

  10. One other thing – she seems to feel no anger at all at this point. She is either perfectly fine and seems very happy or she is in no mood at all, almost like staring through you. She told me before she left that this was the hole she felt, but she looks at my son the same way. Is this a sign or what?

  11. Hey, joe–

    I think your wife can probably do her job fine, so I would let that go. Forcing someone to obtain treatment these days is nearly impossible, so as long as your wife does not believe she needs treatment and can hold down a job, there’s not much you can do about it. You may need to sit it out. I know how emotionally painful it can be to have the person you thought was your soulmate turn on you, but maybe just backing off would do the most good.

    Have you thought about getting counseling for yourself? You really need to take care of yourself and sort out your own emotions right now. Is there a NAMI support group in your area?

  12. Thanks yea I am in therapy and so is my son. The court is going to order to attend it with my son, but the therapist says this most often does no good. Knowing my wife’s actions for all these years if I could get her away from this guy, she would melt down and get the help she needs not only for her sake but for her son’s. But I think that would be impossible, because he is her boss at work, so you can see were I am at.

  13. P.S. What about the anger thing? Why doesn’t she feel any anger at this point?

  14. WELL TODAY SHE HIT THE ANGER STAGE AND ACCUSED ME OF EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN. I FEAR I HAVE LOST THE TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE . I HAVE NEVER HEARD HER SO MAD BEFORE.

  15. My Ex wife is Bipolar with Schizophrenic tendancies. All of these stories hit home for me is some way. I experienced more than a few years of her chaotic, unexplained, uncomprehendable behavior, some of it so slight that it could be excused away by some reasonable explaination and all the while I questioned myself and my belief in what I was witnesing in her behavior. When I am the only one that sees how she acts who is to believe me? I could see it but not explain it. Things were terrible, ugly and emotionally draining. I stayed in the marriage for many years because I believed I was obligated. I did love her. But, in the end I could no longer live that way and my kids needed to get away from it too. My two kids 17YO girl, 13YO boy, were being destroyed and needed me to help them, so I did. I left her. It was for many reason I dont need to explain to you because I feel you are all aware of the issues and how difficult they can be to explain. My Ex-wife is still not better after two years post divorce. I have full custody of my kids and thankfully they are doing a little better. This was both the hardest thing and the best thing I have done in my married life. I am able to function again and so are my kids. I wish it were different but it is not. Nothing I do can or will change the behavior, It takes the meds and counseling. The Med’s that a person needs to maintain a good (normal) mood are not pleasant to take and that is why many stop taking them. I can’t tell another person what is best for them but I know for myself and my kids, leaving her was the only choice at the time. Looking back after two years it remains the best choice I could have made.

  16. Well i think we have all caught a glimpse of hell thanks to bipolar disorder. I went through this with my wife. The symptoms at first were subtle but progressive and we tend to overlook or rationalize them until that is no longer possible. The odyssey of horror that I experienced is wished upon no one. Only those who have witnessed such have even a clue as to the scope of this affliction.

    I was one of the “fortunate” ones, I held fast to my faith, even as it was shaken to its core, and The Almighty delivered to us a solution.

    My wife committed outrageous attrocities, defiled all things sacred, abandoned all things dear, damaged persons and property without regard. I traveled through foreign countries in which I did not speak the language and eventually found what was left of her.

    The only way that these people will ever “return” is through the help of a trained Psychiatrist familiar with bipolar. They have in their arsenal a variety of medications that actually work extremely well for a number of patients. This combined with your love and support and commitment can turn this thing back around and restore that which had slipped away.

    It will not be easy, or pleasant, but it can be done.

  17. All of these posts sound so familiar. My story started about 5 years ago when i caught my wife cheating on me. Though she has sworn there was not physical intimacy and only emotional, it was still hard to deal with. Only recently was she diagnosed with being bipolar. She has continued to get emotionally involved with other men, online mostly through Rockband.

    Anyway, she has started to drink alcohol more and more and refuses to make an appointment with a phyciatrist. Just a few months ago, during a fight where I had confronted her with text another guy she became violent and hit me repeatedly – I basically hugged her and was trying to keep her from getting in her car and driving off – so she started hitting me as I just protected myself as I would never lay a hand on my wife or any woman for that matter.

    During these fights she just accuses me of being overbearing because I look over her shoulder all the time as I do not beliece she can control her self when she is in a mania phase.

    I am not sure how much more I can take we have two girls who are my world. I want to support her and stay with her, but it continues to become harder and harder. She constantly puts me down, make me feel bad when i spend any money on anything – while she can spend money. She is a stay at home mom and now could not get a job due to being bipolar.

    I never thought in a million years she would have hit me in a fight, but she has spiraled downward over the last six months. I do love her, but am at my wits end.

    It is very confusing and frustrating.

  18. I’m not sure if I’m bipolar or not. I’ll tell you my story and please help me. I am a mother and when I met my husband (about 20 years ago), he was a known cheater. I lived with it and with the birth of our children he really straightened out. Earlier this year (15 years later), he admitted that he cheated again. I bought a business 3 years ago (a symptom he attributes to bipolarism) and it is not doing well (I think its the economy). I have good business days and bad ones (financially). I am angry at him for not telling me he was retiring (not to mention he has more time on his hands for cheating). He went to my doctor and reported that he thought something was going on with me because I was really emotional, but I got along well with others. He told my doctor that I had mood swings. What he didn’t tell my doctor is that he reported to me that he cheated on me… twice. The very next time I saw my doctor for insomnia (because of the business), my doctor prescribed a medicine to me for bipolar disorder. My doctor told me ‘based on what your husband described, I’m deeply concerned about your mental health’. Give me your thoughts… please be honest.

  19. Hi Monica –
    No one can diagnose bipolar disorder over the internet or even based just on information from one source – either the patient themselves or their loved ones. It often takes multpile interveiws. I strongly urge you to seek a thorough psychitric evaluation with a doctor who spends some time with you and your husband to get all the information and to make a careful diagnostic assessment.

  20. hi my name is michelle campbell as i sit and read these stories i can take some out of each and everyone and still have a whole book to write on myself, anyway about a year ago i was diagnosed with bi polar i always new i had a problem but everyone just thought i was shy after having my four kids and being married it took a toll on me and my family, i would sit and cry not knowing why and i just could not stop it would last for 2 to 3 days at the most,i would not really like to go outside unless i had to, and since i had kids and had a husband i had to provide for them, well since then i have lost all four of my kids my life is shit i can not keep a job no longer than 3 months because i tend to carry these feelings with me where ever i go, no one understands, lately i have thought about killing myself constantly and i think about death atleast 5 times a week and it is scary for me, i hurt so bad and feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, i feel worthless like i am a waste of skin, there are times i actually think i am not even worthy of being around people or have people love me, there is more to my story, but i tell you what if i could wish something bad on someone i did not like the feelings that i have i wish on no one you feel like you are about to go crazy, iam 29 and can not believe how much i have not grown, it is sickening to me to be like this, and right now i wish for nothing but death because that is what i know will take my pain away i am already in hell so next best thing for me to do would to be gone from here and i would not have to burden anyone with my foolishness and my mom calls it go figure there are people even my family members who will look at me and say get over it and just for one day i would love to put them in my shoes and then ask them now how do you feel,thanks for reading

    drowning in a black dismal hole
    in PA

  21. My name is Ayonnah Scott. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a couple months ago & he is also 16 yers older than me. He’s very serious about not taking any meds for it because he believes his mind is strong & powerful enough to over come it. And I cant make him do it. So far, I’d have to admit he’s doing a hell of a job with no meds, but the only thing I can say is that his sex drive is now WAY higher than mine & he seems to want it all the time. This may sound normal to others, but I dont think my body can handle it! I find myself giving in to his demands whether I want to or not and when I try to explain how it affects me, he seems remorseful afterwards, and during, it’s like he tunes me out & cant hear me. I’m literally crying and begging him to stop because it hurts me to go like that EVERY day. It’s almost as if something takes over his body. He also admits to feeling like he had an outter-body experience & cant do anyhting about it. Is anyone else going through this with their bipolar loved one? How can I explain to him how I feel about it without making him feel as though I’m rejecting him? What can I do that wont lead into a huge fight over sex? PLEASE HELP!

  22. By the way, I’m not sure if it matters or not, but we’ve been married for 3 years coming in June. This is new to me, so we need all the support that we can get… Thanks.

  23. Ayonna,
    Be glad that he has the ability to share his hypomania with you. Like he has explaind to you, he can not control himself it is like an alter ego… Most often these people will have extra martial affiars this is so much harder to deal with. After this manic period ends, be sure to get him to his phyc. (he will not want to go now) He needs to be on the proper drugs. If you think this is bad it can only get worse…

  24. Hi All
    It all started whenI read my husbands facebook message and realized he was having the perfect affair with a younger woman. What was shocking was that it had been going on for 3 years. We have 4 children together . My last apparently was born during the start of the affair. I really couldn’t believe it. My heart was broken in two. It was almost surreal. I tried to understand and maybe it was my fault because by my 4th child I started getting overwhelmed and depressed. He was so “immature ” at times and would always have business trips- missing special times with his children to go be with her. I read some of his emails because in order for me to forgive I had to know it all. It was mortifying to read how much”they loved each other” how perfect they both thought each other were. He had no regards for the children he was living this fantasy. he was taking her on trips to Mexico when his children dreamed of Disney. But, we “never” had enough money. ZHe was deceiptful and selfish. I had lost all hoope believing I had lost him to this “perfect” life without responsibility he was leading. When I confronted him he lost it! He became so depressed he threatened to kill himself. He was admitted to the hospital and has been there for 5 days. I have seen him and told him I love him but how hard it is to believe he has chosen the life he wants based on the letters between him and his girlfriend. He begged me to take him back he cried about how he was sick and didn’t realize the hurt he was causing he just wnated to have affection and full attention from someone. He was selfish and I probably could have been more attentive to his needs. But what has given me an iota of hope is that the psychiatrist just called and explained to me that James is bipolar and been living in a manic episode for 3 years having seriously bad bouts of anxiety requiring meds because often the two worlds almost collided. I asked how is it possible? The Dr. said it is absolutely poosibly to lose a sense of reality and become this super egomaniac. They have started him on meds for bipolar and he seems to be responding slowly. I love him and I pray to God to get me through for my kids and my future. I juast hope I’m not playing second fiddle to the much younger woman and he wanders again. I feel better just getting it out

  25. my ex fiancee wanted to be married one minute and 2 days later wanted nothing to do with me. Like i was scum.

  26. It really makes me mad how if someone was to tell you they had cancer they would get all the sympathy in the world, but when you tell them your bipolar, they act like “oh,….” People dont understand what we go through, what we struggle with or the damage weve caused in the past and they also think once were on meds everything is ok and back to normal. Theres awarness and ribbons on cars signifing other illness, but not this one.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2008. It was a nightmare! I started having an affair with my then bestfriends husband. I leased an appartment so I could leave my husband and 3 kids. I was spending erratically, and just felt indistructable! My husband and kids became more and more distraught with every passing day and it was like I was trapped inside my body looking out at them trying to tell them to not give up on me that i will break free and make everything better.
    I told him I wanted to get a divorce, and that I wasnt in love with him anymore. Let me tell you that my husband stood by me through EVERYTHING I put him through, and thank god he did. When I “came out of it” (manic state) I thought back at all the things I did,like remembering bits and pieces of a nightmare you had and couldnt believe I had actually did such things and hurt my family like I did. Im so ashamed of it all, I have flashbacks of the things ive done-triggered by familiar songs, smells, or places ive been.

    I am on meds now and am doing ok but this “monster inside” never really goes away, it just lies dormant waiting till you feel the most vulnerable so it can take over again. I still have trouble holding down a job. I lasted 9mths on this last one. I dont really have friends anymore because I’ve burned bridges or their just “over it”. I NEED SAVING FROM MYSELF.

  27. do u have any brochures to send me…i am bipolar maria mcevoy 78 sperry pl. staten island ny 10312 thanks

  28. please say I have bipolar disorder rather than I AM bipolar

  29. lisa on January 16th, 2011 4:10 pm
    “please say I have bipolar disorder rather than I AM bipolar”

    I am so sick of this attitude that I just had to comment..

    You ARE bipolar
    You ARE responsible for your behavior
    You ARE responsible for what you do to others
    OWN IT & know
    You ARE a monster

    Once you own it, control it. It IS your responsibility to seek treatment. It IS your responsibility to temper your own behavior when that impacts others. If you refuse, t5hen do the rest of us a favor..

    I spent 17 years married to a narcissistic sociopath. Don’t say “I suffer from bipolar disorder” because you ARE the source of suffering in others. Don’t say “I have bipolar” because it is not something you caught. The expression of polymorphisms in the alleles of the genes of chromosome pair #15 (bipolar disorder) was in your own personal genome at birth.

    You ARE bipolar. Now STFU, take your medications, go to your room & stop provoking everyone around you. If you feel really awful, do the rest of us a favor… 15% of you figured that one out.

    • Ive been reading all these comments and it took this post, and your words to run back to my meds. I was diagnosed in 2006 and was stable for 12 years. I had no clue thst this is what i am. I am 53 and my husband is a little older. We have been married nearly 20 years. I am all those things and except for one thing. I just heard a loud popping noise……i went off my meds in 2013. I blammed it on my breast cancer. I had 3 surgeries back to back to get it all and shit, i am jumping right back on my meds. I love my grand kids so much. I guess a favor for them is to stay out side thier life. Ive told ny very successful husband manyvtimes he was crazy. He could do so much better than the piece of complete shit ive become. I really hate the side effects. But its a small price . Im so grateful Angry monster lady was straight up. I get it. Love you

  30. Wow, someone needs to go for anger management counseling and maybe take some valium, oh and maybe throw in some Dialectical Behavior Treatment for good measure.

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