Posted November 6, 2012

I have not been diagnosed with bipolar disorder or any other mental-health illness, I would like to state that firstly before the rest is read.

Since the age of 13, I have had periods of great euphoria and suicidal tendencies. I have gone through my life with a roller coaster personality. I have times when I am the happiest person alive, I spend my money on things I have no want or need for, and I get delusional in so many ways. I will believe things that are so unrealistic that is borders on insanity, but while I am in that period of happiness they seem to be reality. I don’t know why this happens to me, I’ve never been on a level period, I’m always extremely happy or extremely sad.

I go through most of my time having suicidal tendencies. I have attempted suicide four times this year, and it’s all been in my depressive period. I can’t get to a middle ground and I hate the person I am. I don’t want to be happy or sad, I want to be on the middle ground. To be content with everything instead of loving or hating everything.

I don’t know from this small story if I have any symptoms towards bipolar disorder but I’m gripping at straws. I’ve got enough common sense to know that the way I feel isn’t right. I want to know if anyone who reads this knows of such symptoms being the same/similar to certain disorders.