Posted December 7, 2010 by Diana
I could write a book I suppose. My husband and I have been married 48+ years. He had his first manic episode back in 1966. The others were 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1994, and 1998. Those were all manic episodes followed by severe depression.
Each manic episode required hospitalization because he became psychotic, thinking he was Jesus or God and everything else that accompanies this horrific disease. He would be hospitalized up to 8 weeks for the mania. He’s had depression with each one, the severest being his first episode. During this time he tried to commit suicide on 2 occasions.
He had one time that was only a 6 week depression (no mania preceded it) where he slept all the time and only got out of bed to eat or go to the bathroom. Going through a manic episode is like going through a hell on earth, for the non-afflicted loved one. Going through a depressive episode is like a hell on earth for the afflicted one.
My husband started on lithium back in 1971, but didn’t want to take his medicine. After the episode in 1973, he became faithful to do so. Now he takes both lithium and Depakote. He takes Wellbutrin also. I think these medications are a gift from God. They have helped my husband to live a normal life. They have helped us live a normal life. (We had 2 small children when this first happened and I was expecting our 3rd child. Four years later we had one more child. Now they are all grown and happily married.)
Oh yes, our lives get interrupted when an episode happens, but basically his disease is under control. I feel like every episode seems to wipe a year out of your life between the 2 month mania and the several months of depression. My husband is a wonderful man, it’s not his fault this happened to him. But it is very hard on everyone when these episodes happen. I give God the glory for all He has helped the two of us through. We couldn’t have made it without Him.
Dear Diana – You are probably right by saying you could write a book. Maybe you should! I can relate to your husband thinking he was Jesus or God. I have bipolar disorder, and have experienced similar psychotic episodes. I have written about some of my episodes in my memoir “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing.” Writing a book has been a great way to make sense of a lot of the difficulties that have accompanied bipolar disorder, and that is why I say to you…write your story! It will help others to hear what you have gone through as a family member of someone with bipolar disorder. – Brian Jost
Hi Diana,
I just came across this blog while doing some searching on bipolar family members. I have a sister that is bipolar. She too clinches to religion when she is in her maniac state. She was diagnosed about 10 years ago and has gone through about 5 episodes since. She had one last year and then again about 2 weeks ago. During this state, she is not “herself”. She is like a zombie talking about how much she loves us and how she wants to go “home” meaning to Heaven. At very maniac episode she has been hospitalized until her meds are adjusted. I can honestly say she is one of the best most respected person I know. She has no enemies, lives life “by the book”, would never dare say anything bad about anyone, has lots of friends, not into anything illegal (drugs), just an all around awesome person and has the same job for the past 15 years.
It just breaks my heart that this is happening:( Anyway, I have been doing some research and I find a lot of ppl taking about bipolar and anger but she never shows signs of anger. She resorts to more religion and says things like “God wants us to do right”,”Are you good with the Lord”,and many more. During this maniac state, things to her are “black and white”. There is no in between.
Some ppl say that they are in the maniac state for weeks but in our case she could not be out in public like this. It’s like a horror show. She is talking out of her head,saying the weirdest things but mostly all about God and the devil.
It is heart breaking to see my big sis go through.
Guess this is my “therapy blog” 🙂
Thanks, Kel