Just because I’m stable now and quite content with my life doesn’t mean I haven’t had an easy road. I’ve been through hell and back and so has my family. My bipolar along with some stupid decisions caused me to be stripped of almost everything. Because of this, I take nothing for granted anymore. Most of all I enjoy the simple things in life, like driving in my convertible listening to rock ‘n roll. I don’t even take this for granted. Many people don’t even have a car. And who knows the future? Someday I might not have a car. Therefore, I try to live in the moment and enjoy those simple things.

Anyone who has gone through depression (and some who are reading this may be going through it right now). I’ve laid in bed feeling like I had a full body lead coat on; like what you wear when you get your teeth X-rayed. But I’m talking my whole body. I could not get out of bed, sometimes for days at a time. A well meaning friend who has never experienced depression told me to get my ass out of bed and clean my house. I mentally and physically could not. Unless you have been through it you cannot possibly understand. It’s way more than sadness; it is clinical depression. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t even get out of bed to take a shower.

Fortunately for me, I had some close friends who supported me. One woman in particular, Patti, always told me, “You are going to be all right.” Sometimes I called her three or four times a day just to hear those words. I mostly didn’t believe her, but I guess part of me did or I wouldn’t have called her constantly.

Right now I am speaking to those who are completely down and out. Maybe you have no one to tell you it is going to be all right. I AM TELLING YOU, YOU WILL BE ALL RIGHT. Find a good doctor and counselor and stick with the program he/she gives you. You are loved and it truly will be okay.

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