Posted February 21, 2009

I am bipolar. I was fired from my job as a social worker in March 2008. I was diagnosed in 1999 as bipolar but pretty much ignored the diagnosis. I was seeing my primary care physician who was prescribing medications for depression such as Paxil. Through the years especially with my father’s death in 2007 I plummeted in a cycle of depression and mania. My doctor was prescribing Effexor and Lamictal. I eventually requested a referral to a psychiatrist I didn’t like her, but I did take Depakote which she recommended. I stopped urinating. I didn’t have health insurance so I went back to my primary care physician. In March 2008 I decided to find a psychiatrist. I am taking Seroquel. I stopped taking Lamictal because I believe it was cycling me from mania to depression. I do keep a mood chart which consists of “I” for irritability, “D” for depression and “N” for normal. I am now beginning to see a mixed state, which I am noting with an “I” for irritability and “D” for depression.

I am very disappointed in the study of the bipolar brain. If the brain does not show signs of seizing then why prescribe an anticonvulsant? Since there are distinct periods of depression, mania, mixed states, and hypomania, shouldn’t there be different meds for different parts of the month.

I now see why individuals with bipolar disorder stop taking their medication. To have the symptoms of irritability and suicidal ideation while on the meds what’s the sense of taking them…?

I have been reading about Gabapentin, I am going to discuss this drug with my psychiatrist.