Posted September 12, 2011

I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 14. I was depressed and cutting a lot, so I was sent to a hospital. They put me on an anti-depressant that made me so manic I didn’t sleep for days. When I got home I got so bad I tried committing suicide but didn’t succeed thank god.

I started using a lot of drugs and cutting even more just trying to calm my anxiety. Finally my doctor realized something else was wrong. He put me on a mood stabilizer and it seemed to help. I ended up getting put in the hospital again 3 more times up until I was 16. We finally found a mix of medicines that worked.

At 17 I was off all illegal drugs and doing really well. I met my amazing other half who I’m still with to this day, who is patient and kind and understands me. When I turned 18 I stopped all my medication. I felt like I didn’t need them anymore.

I’m now 22 and decided it was time that I get back on them. I’ve been manic and it was getting out of control. I’ve been on my new meds for about a month now. But I’m just not sure. I think I’m just scared. (I never liked being on anything.) If anyone has any advice it would be appreciated. My anxiety is through the roof. Thanks all.

Samantha