Posted May 21, 2012
Hi,
I have recently started a blog about my experiences as BP and how this led me over 25 years to pay for sex, culminating in a manic $10,000 over 3 nights in a German brothel. This was followed 2 years later in a full-blown manic episode where I “knew” I was Jesus Christ re-born and confessed all my “sins” to wife. I paid for it in more ways than one. Only 4 years later was I eventually diagnosed, put on lithium and stopped paying for something I shouldn’t pay for, which I couldn’t afford and where I couldn’t handle the accruing guilt. BP cost me a marriage, another relationship (with another BP), my career, and caused financial ruin. But I am now content.
For more of my story, visit my blog — Paying for it: The diary of a Bipolar punter.
SJ.
thank you for writing this. while i haven’t pslibuhed anything, i am writing, and i do have bipolar disorder. lately, i’ve been wrestling with processing issues, and i’m hoping to find others who are able to work through the various difficulties that bp presents. ultimately, these problems keep me from establishing any sort of routine, such as SKing describes in On Writing, since my state of mind can be viciously unpredictable. even if i *say* that i’m going to sit down at 8PM every night and write for two hours, there’s no guarantee that my brain will cooperate.i am in treatment and doing all that i can to manage my health, both physically and mentally. however, the only solution i’ve found thus far is to write when my mind works and to walk away when it doesn’t. that’s far from ideal, and the situation is extremely limiting and frustrating. is there a certain level of acceptance for which i should be reaching? in other words, is it more healthful to acknowledge that i can apparently only do so much, or are there ways to circumvent this particular roadblock and be more consistent in the act of writing?i understand that you are likely very busy, so if you don’t have the time to reply, i certainly understand. however, if you do have any words to offer, i would be most appreciative. thank you for taking the time to read this!jb*i’ll be putting in a hold request at my library for Swiss Chocolate; it sounds wonderful!