April 4, 2010
It took a lot of years to stop denying that I have this disorder. But after looking back at the path of destruction it has left in my life … there is no more doubt in my sick mind. I just blew yet another relationship that could have been beautiful but my mania just wouldn’t have it.
I need help and when I sought it before I was turned away due to insurance or the waiting list was full. I have been on a broad spectrum of meds, but they were anti-depressants. Some helped a little but never could get me above board. I just want to behappy for once. I still entertain ideas of suicide and it’s frightening. I want help and it’s so bad I don’t know what to do about it. Self medicated for years with alcohol and it only made things worse. Especially in my life. Someone help me please….