November 12, 2008

I am 16 years old. I live in Ohio and I’m positive I have bipolar. I am currently balancing a job, a 4.0 GPA, and 3 girls. I have tons of friends, I can get any girl I want, and me and my friends are the preppies. I work a lot, paid off my car, xbox with accessories, laptop, insurance, and driving classes just from working this summer and I still have $1.5K in the bank. I am star wide receiver for my football team and 5th in state at 125lb in wrestling. I have never gotten anything less then an A.

Even with all this positive shit, I am always depressed. I have attempted suicide a few times and think about it every day. One hour I can be filled with confidence and the next… I breakdown crying and depressed. Coming home from work, I have run stop signs hoping I’d get hit. I don’t tell anyone I’m so depressed. Nobody knows but me.

I don’t know what to do or how to handle it. The only thing that helps me is girls. If I wasn’t good looking I would be dead. I’m on the verge of just doing it. Today I woke up, threw up. I’m sick, have pink eye, mom made me go to school anyway. I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. Got an hour detention for being late, cussed out the treasurer, cussed out my principal. Went home and got in a huge fight with my mom. Been the worst day ever.

I could get a full ride scholarship for grades, football, or wrestling, but I don’t even like thinking about my future because I really don’t want one.

1 Comment

  1. Hi Darryl –
    I am so sorry to hear how awfully you have been feeling in spite of all the good things in your life. It sounds like there could be something like bipolar or depression there – but it could be other things too and you need to get checked out by a physician to figure it out. These are treatable problems – not because of any weakness or craziness on your part.
    if you don’t want to ask to see a psychiatrist ask your parents to have a visit with your pediatrician and tell her what you have been going through. I would also encourage you to think about bringing this up with your parents- they will want to do whatever they can to help you – it may seem scary at first – but this is something you need help with – can’t do it alone –
    keep us posted on how you are doing –

    Dr. Fink

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