November 12, 2008
I am 16 years old. I live in Ohio and I’m positive I have bipolar. I am currently balancing a job, a 4.0 GPA, and 3 girls. I have tons of friends, I can get any girl I want, and me and my friends are the preppies. I work a lot, paid off my car, xbox with accessories, laptop, insurance, and driving classes just from working this summer and I still have $1.5K in the bank. I am star wide receiver for my football team and 5th in state at 125lb in wrestling. I have never gotten anything less then an A.
Even with all this positive shit, I am always depressed. I have attempted suicide a few times and think about it every day. One hour I can be filled with confidence and the next… I breakdown crying and depressed. Coming home from work, I have run stop signs hoping I’d get hit. I don’t tell anyone I’m so depressed. Nobody knows but me.
I don’t know what to do or how to handle it. The only thing that helps me is girls. If I wasn’t good looking I would be dead. I’m on the verge of just doing it. Today I woke up, threw up. I’m sick, have pink eye, mom made me go to school anyway. I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. Got an hour detention for being late, cussed out the treasurer, cussed out my principal. Went home and got in a huge fight with my mom. Been the worst day ever.
I could get a full ride scholarship for grades, football, or wrestling, but I don’t even like thinking about my future because I really don’t want one.