Hi, my name is David. I am 39 and live in Manchester, England. I guess I have suffered from the age of ten with bipolar disorder. My life as been difficult, but I know of others who have suffered much worse. Over the last five years, I have managed to build a family and have a beautiful girlfriend and two children. Things aren’t going that well, as the responsibility and emotional stress are getting to be too much.
The problem is I was going like a speeding bullet when I decided to do all this. I have only just been told by the doctor that I have bipolar 2, stroke 1, and OCD. The trouble is my moods change so much that I don’t know whether my thoughts and feelings are true or not. I can be really excited and steaming through life till I cant stop, and then I start to shout and scream at every body really aggressively. I can be in a state that I feel agitated, aggressive, excited, and depressed all at the same time. Then I might have three months of the year of not wanting to get out of bed and just not caring at all. I have unwanted harmful thoughts and sexual thoughts. I can’t stop eating, smoking, and ruminating… trying to work things out in my head. My kids are suffering with their daddy shouting at them all the time.
I just don’t know what to do any more. I take mood stabilizers and they make me depressed. I take antidepressants, and they make me high. Whatever I do, my family suffers. I need the moods to stop and be calm and rational for my kids. The urge to go out and party and go wild is getting harder to fight. On the other side, the depression and shouting are tearing my family apart. If anybody understands or has been through the same thing, could they share there experience or give any advice?