Posted September 25, 2012
I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 2 years now. Things are looking better and better every day, not like they once were.
I always knew I was different from the other kids when I was growing up. What kid tells their mother to go get a knife at the age of 10 years old so that they could kill themself because they think that all their friends don’t like them. I began to cut at the age of 12 years old just to get some relief of the hell that was inside of my head.
Depression raised its head throughout my teen years and I felt isolated, all alone, somewhere no one could reach me. I felt there was no help for me. Times got tougher so I started to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Joined a gang and became very sexually active with no regard for my life.
I then dropped out of high school to get married at the age of 19 after a stint in treatment. I loved this woman and she I. My illness would nevertheless take its toll on the marriage and would end in divorce after 7 years due to affairs, lies, many, many manic episodes which at the time I did not realize that is what all this stuff was.
One day I finally had enough and checked myself in at a local ER and from there I spent 2 months in hospitals and then another 4 in rehab. I have stayed sober and on my meds ever since. Life can be good.