mekj77 Tired of Paranoia

Posted on July 20, 2011

I’m tired of thinking everyone is out to get me. Over the last year I have gotten severe paranoia and it’s pushing away my family and my close friends, I can barely be in public anymore without the feeling that everyone around me is out to get me. There are girls I like but when I get around them I get nervous and anxious and think they’re trying to give me STDs or trying to hurt me in some way. I have opportunities to have a girlfriend but the constant fear and paranoia causes me to push them away, and when I’m around my friends I think they’re trying to set me up for disaster. I know they’re good people and wouldn’t do me like that deep down, but I still seem to think that, and it’s ruining my life.

Recently I started having hallucinations. I always think that people are trying to crawl in my windows, but I know they aren’t because the it’s a basement window that has a board over it, and in my head I know it’s not possible at all, but my craziness tells me they’re putting wire cameras down there and stuff like that.

I always think people are talking shit about me, or they talk about me behind my back, or they’re undercover trying to put me in the nut ward or in jail. I know deep down that it’s all in my head, but I still can’t seem to beat it. It’s starting to get worse. I feel like just isolating myself from the world. I feel like I’m going to be alone forever because of this disorder. I feel like I’m worthless to the world sometimes.

I used to never be like this. I used to be outgoing and have fun and not be paranoid all the time. Now when I’m around people I feel like they hate me or they want to do something wrong to me. Some of my friends said I look like I’m going to hurt someone or myself. I would never do that. I don’t ever think that. I may get irritable with people, like annoyed, and say stuff like “Shut up!” or just look like I’m irritable or yell, but I don’t ever think of hurting anyone or myself, especially my family and friends. I’m too scared of getting in trouble… LOL. I only think to get away from them.

This is the first time I have ever said how I really feel. I have told people that I’m paranoid, but they can see that from just being around me. What can I do to get my life back on track?!!!!!!


  1. Your story is similar to mine I have just been diagnosed with bipolar 1 and also schizoaffective disorder and it’s not easy. But I hear ya on the paranoia part! I think that I’m being watched all the time by certain people that I know. I think my phone is bugged I think that they know what I’m typing right now and I think they planted hidden cameras in my room and put livestream videos of me on the internet so my thoughts would be broadcasted. All you can really do is stay on your meds though.

  2. I have had the paranoid thoughts thinking people were in my apartment wanting to kill me and I pray it never happens again. I am on medication for bipolar and it took a while to find the right combination that works for me. you can get help at your local mental health center or talk to your guidance counseolr for help.

  3. All these comments are so close to what my thoughts are like. I find if I keep myself distracted and busy I can survive through work but any other time I feel im being watched etc..
    Im being bounced from GP to psychiatrists who then bounce me to therapists to get rid of my issues over the past…
    Its gotten worse as of late and im beginning to have to hold my hands over my ears at night so block out noises, but then my head bounces off the walls no matter how tired I am and I feel as though there are screams inside my head and flashing images of disturbing things.
    in public loos i think there are cameras watching me, i feel constantly watched.
    im very irritable and can be verbally aggressive as well as smash up my surroundings like a bull in a china shop 🙁
    Just feel hopeless no one is getting any closer to helping it stop!!!!

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