Sherry’s Story – Bipolar Husband and Family

Posted May 17, 2008

My husband is 53 years old. I am 49, and we have been married for 31 years. We have 3 kids, 23, 21 and 16. Our 21 year old daughter has a 2 year old daughter and they both live with us. Also our 16 year old son lives with us.

After at least 10 months or more of depressed and manic behavior last year (2007), my husband went “crazy” in November and ended up being diagnosed with Bipolar I, severe mixed episode, psychotic.

In retrospect, he has struggled with bipolar since he was an adolescent. He also has adult ADHD. Since last November, when he was diagnosed, he has been trying to find the right cocktail of meds. About 5 weeks ago, he started feeling better and functioning better. That lasted about 3 weeks. Then after a doctor appointment, he misunderstood what she said and came home telling me he was supposed to wean himself off of Risperdal. Accordingly, I started reducing it .25 mg a week. After two weeks, he and my son got into a fight where my husband punched him in the back and then proceeded to throw about six books down the stairs at him.

So, last week, I went to his next doctor appointment with him. She said my husband had misunderstood and apparently, the Risperdal was necessary to help control his anger. I immediately raised his dose back to where it had been. Almost immediately, he seemed better.

Early this week, he was feeling good, functioning well, and his business (which he had trashed during his episode last year) had actually gotten three contacts, one of which had already produced a job, one verbal commitment and one possibility. I felt hopeful again. Things had become so dismal and impossible.

A little background; my mother died last summer (2007) and left me some money. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what I was dealing with and did not protect the money. Due to the fact he had trashed his business and was also spending on ridiculous things, we were blowing through the money at a record speed. When Mother died, we were on the verge of losing our house, so I had to make 5 house payments and also 4 car payments (on two cars). Of course, we were behind on other bills too, so right off the bat, I had to spend a chunk of money.

He had been telling me he was going off to work but was going to play golf, every day! Then he started going to a strip club where you could bring your own booze and blew tons of money. In fact, that is how he got busted. The stripper left a message on his phone that I picked up the end of October. This was totally out of character for my husband. He normally didn’t even drink and had never frequented strip clubs. One thing led to another and after tons of strife and investigation, I finally discovered what had been going on. All of this led up to his “losing” it in November.

He pulled every drawer out of my two dressers and threw them, dumping clothing and breaking the furniture. He tore up my closet, looking for his Klonopin. He threatened me because I wouldn’t give him the bottle of pills and threw things at me. Then he found a pistol in the closet, loaded it and started waving it around, threatening suicide. It was 7 a.m. in the morning, I was still in my robe and here I was chasing him from the back driveway to the front yard, begging him to stop and not kill himself. He jumped in the car and screeched off, while I frantically called 911.

Then I had four police in the house and I was hysterical. I just knew he was going to kill himself. Long story, short, he drove from north central Texas to North Carolina, and back, nonstop. He didn’t sleep for about 65 hours. That is how he ended up with the Bipolar diagnosis a week later.

So, back to current day, he came home yesterday, at 2:00 p.m. and announced he had bought a car. Here we are, no money (the inheritance is gone), no income yet (for several months we’ve had none), two existing car payments, and he buys a car! He didn’t even discuss it with me. He doesn’t think he did anything unreasonable and does not accept that this is classic manic behavior. He is in complete denial. I told him to take it back (he has a 72 hour buyer’s remorse window) and he has refused. I said, it’s the marriage or car and apparently, he’s choosing the car. He said it will be just fine. He will work weekends and nights at extra jobs, if necessary, to pay for it. Excuse me, he is too sick to work his one job, much less two more!

To top all of this off, my 21 year old daughter appears to be suffering from bipolar symptoms also. The last three years with her have been one fiasco after another. She bristles at the very suggestion that she has a problem. My son is ADHD and has a lot of anger. Yes, I know, he might be bipolar too. In fact, the daughter called the police on the son Monday night during a ridiculous squabble. She will probably end up with a misdemeanor C for doing that. They are both lucky one of them didn’t get arrested. I’m about to loose my mind. Really! I cried and cried last night. There is no reasoning with any of them. It is just one crisis after another. I don’t know what to do.

I have stayed home and raised children for the last 23 years. Now I keep my granddaughter every day while my daughter works. I have been out of the work market for so long, only have a high school education and don’t know who would keep the baby (the only bright light in my life). We have no money except equity in our home. Unfortunately, I have to have a living space large enough for my son, daughter, grandbaby and self. The mortgage payment on the house is cheaper than an apartment would be. So, my equity is tied up.

Believe it or not, I still love my husband. I’ve been with him since I was 18 years old. My marriage has been hell, but when he isn’t cycling, we are very compatible. We don’t have health insurance, because we can’t get underwritten due to mental health issues. Of course, we can’t afford it now either. Our income is so low right now, my husband is getting help through the state mental health program. However, he is not getting very good therapy care at all. Plus I need therapy and guidance to cope. My family needs therapy before it explodes and everyone is in jail. I am at my wits end.

My friends and family don’t know everything, but they do know some of it. I don’t tell them all of it, because it is embarrassing. Unfortunately, they don’t understand mental illness or the extreme distress I’m under. I feel hopeless and completely confused. I’ve tried to take care of everyone and do the right thing, but it all comes back on me. When they are acting out, they turn it around on me and say it is my fault. No one is grateful or even kind most of the time.

I know from reading things on the Internet that others are suffering similarly, but everyone around me just shakes their head. They can’t comprehend the constant chaos our family creates for itself. Sometimes when I look down the road and see nothing but more of the same, I don’t think I can bear it. I really don’t know how I’ve stayed out of the mental hospital myself!


  1. Having two family members with bipolar is often referred to as bipolar squared rather than bipolar times two, and for good reason. Sounds like you have bipolar cubed. Your story really shows how bipolar can mess with the family dynamics.

    When my wife was in her worst stage (before we really knew what bipolar was), our son was also exhibiting symptoms, too. He would cycle from extreme highs to extreme lows and have terrible fits of rage. And my wife would press just the right buttons to set him off. They seemed to feed off of one another until situations would escalate out of control. We couldn’t drive a quarter mile without one of them threatening to jump out of the car.

    Looking back, I feel as though we really needed to reboot our lives – start all over. But when you have limited resources, as you point out, how do you do that? I wish I could have sent each of them to a separate sanitarium so they could be treated medically and be prepared to re-enter the family, but having someone committed is soooo difficult, and I’m not even sure its the best thing. When my wife was in the hospital, it really pushed her over the edge.

    Is there a NAMI or DBSA group in your area who could provide some support? Somebody really needs to step in and intervene – force your husband and kids to get the treatment they need before the situation destroys you and your granddaughter. Any extended family members you can call into action? Sounds like you really need help. This is too much for one person to take on solo.

  2. Well, I’m not familiar with DBSA, but I’ll investigate on the internet. I looked at NAMI the other day and there was a chapter in the town next to ours. Thanks for reminding me, I will look the phone number up once again and try to contact them. At the very least, maybe I’ll find some moral support.

    All of our parents are deceased. I have two siblings, the oldest is bipolar (according to her doc, but I think she might be borderline personality) and the other one, my brother, is a stable, functioning person who is in a position to help, but might not. As I said before, we blew through an inheritance fairly fast (he knows what I received because he received the same) and we just bought a new car! Also, he has a 24 year old son who is ADHD and just got out of prison where the doctors said he was bipolar. My brother doesn’t really “believe” in all this mental illness stuff. He never wanted to put his son in therapy and only agreed to meds for ADHD because his wife insisted. They still resist the idea that the young man might be bipolar. He is already having trouble since getting out of jail four months ago. So I’m not sure my brother will be understanding of my situation. He always thinks you should be able to pull yourself up and simply do the right thing. My husband has one sibling, an older brother, who has been diagnosed with a personality disorder. They do not speak at all and have in fact disowned each other. We did reach out to our church last year, before my husband was diagnosed. At that point he was lying about everything and I was clueless as to what was really going on. They were too booked up with counseling to give us free counseling and my husband did not want them to pay for us to go somewhere else. He was too embarrassed for the deacon board to be aware of our financial and dysfunctional family problems. My husband is getting free care (meds and substandard therapy) from the state system. If it wasn’t for the free meds and doc, I have no idea what we would do.He would probably dead by now. We have tried to encourage my daughter to get help. At one point she did go to the psychiatrist (through the medicaid she had at the time because of being a single mom), but she didn’t tell him the truth about what was going on and he said she had anxiety and prescribed Buspar. She took it sporadically until it ran out and never went back again. She thinks all the bad things that happen to her are someone else’s fault. My son is on Adderall and sees a doctor for that every six months. However, it is just his pediatrician and I don’t make a big deal out what goes on, because he needs the Adderall. If she thinks it is over her head she will not see him. Then he will have to see a psychiatrist on a monthly basis for medication. I can’t afford that at all. The Adderall costs $125.00 a month as it is and the doc visits are $186.00 (that is with a 20% discount). Due to last year’s debacle with my husband’s business, we can probably qualify for medicaid. My husband has already qualified for the mental health assistance, but it allows for more income. However, watching my daughter’s experience with medicaid during her pregnancy and after, I know it is almost impossible to find competent caretakers. The system pays such a small amount of money, docs won’t take it. We are so broke right now, I can’t even make reduced payments for therapy. You probably know that therapy is a long, drawn out process and very expensive. I am thinking about calling a past psychologist we had to pick his brain for possible resources. I tried to get help a few month ago through a very well known, excellent teaching hospital that had a program for training docs. You could receive free care, but they turned us down. They said it was too complicated a situation and too serious for their program. I have begged every doc we have ever been involved with for help (back a few months ago), but all I can get is reduced fees which are still at least $75.00 a session. That is out of the question right now. You have probably quit reading by now, because it all sounds like a lot of excuses. I have tried to find competent helpful resources, but I keep running up against walls. I understand that therapists and docs have invested a great deal of time and money to make a living as they do. I can’t expect them to give their expertise away. I wish I lived in a country that has universal health care, but I don’t.

  3. In the United States and probably in many other places around the world, a lack of money means a lack of options. I recently read this quote by Joan Didion:

    “The secret point of money and power in America is neither the things that money can buy nor power for power’s sake … but absolute personal freedom, mobility, privacy.”

    I certainly wish the best for your family, but my wishes do you little good.

  4. Sherry–

    If there was a time that your husband was not making money because of he was cycling, he may qualify for social security disability payments for that period of time. If your children are considered dependents during that time, they may also qualify for some payments.

    You can’t control the disease or how your husband deals with it. You can only control what you do. Do you have a community center in your area where you can perhaps obtain some free legal counsel? I’m thinking you really need to look into protecting your assets and seeing how much control you can take concerning the family finances. Hopefully your name is on the deed for the house. Remember that if your husband borrows against the house without your approval, any liens placed on your house may not hold up in court.

    If your husband bought a car during a manic episode, doesn’t that qualify as being not of sound mind and body? There should be a legal way to void that sale.

    Your children sound old enough at this point to be contributing to the family finances, too. If they can’t chip in, maybe they need to ship out. I know your situation is very complicated (especially given the fact that you’re raising your granddaughter), but you need to look out for yourself and maintain your own mental health.

  5. I’ll look into whether or not there are grounds to void the sale. Thanks for the suggestion.

  6. I investigated a little further and found out the 72 buyer’s remorse thing doesn’t exist in Texas for the purchase of an automobile. If you sign those papers you own it. So I wasted the whole weekend trying to talk my husband into taking the car back. It was a waste of time anyway, because it was literally like talking to the wall. Well, I guess I can hope this is incentive to work hard at his business. He is out working today. Now I have to find a way to get past this, enough to be nice to him.

  7. Sherry, I hope you are still reviewing the comments for your post–when I read your story, it brought back a lot of things that I have been experiencing in the last couple of years, too. My DH is bipolar also, and spent huge amounts of money on stupid stuff. Right now I am working 2 jobs mostly to pay off debts related to his spending sprees, and he just started working again after 2 years of cycling. I’m not sure where that’s going to go, but every penny helps right now….he also bought a lot of crazy stuff, did things that were very out of character for him, and it has been very hard on our marriage. We also have an adopted DD who is special needs, so although she’s not mine biologically, I can relate to the stress of trying to handle an out of control spouse and a child with problems, too. Since your post was over a month ago, I’m hoping that things have gotten better for you by now. And if you did choose to leave the marriage, I know that it’s not a lack of love that drives a person to that, either. Sometimes you just get to a point where you are either going to drown or you have to save yourself.

  8. Hi Sherry,
    I feel your pain. Know that there are others, like me who are in the same situation as you, except my children are 5 and 3. My daughter, 5, exhibits the same bipolar characteristics as my husband, the fits, the inability to ration calmly. I always thought he was bipolar, even before we were married, but just hoped it was stemming from issues growing up. I hoped to God he had gotten better. But I don’t think so. We had another episode last night, broken dishes, food all over the yelling. Doctors have prescribed anxiety medication, but never classified him bipolar. We went to one session to see a “free” therapist and the therapist had real concerns as well, but we can’t afford real sessions and all we got was that one. Even his doctor had recommended seeing a therapist and even wrote a note to do so, but my husband won’t go. The stress is killing me. I love him, I try to be as supportive as I can, but I don’t know how much longer I can do so. I don’t tell anybody about it because I know that will just turn everyone against him and make things worse. Out of fearing of losing what little I have left, my home (with shrinking equity because I have to tap into it to pay for everything that goes over our budget – which is a lot thanks to him) and my children. I had always wondered why my kids are sooo disrespectful towards me…they copy him at the very least and I suspect he says things directly too. And after last night’s episode, I caught him directly telling my daughter to never listen to me and that I hate her. I’d get a divorce, but I don’t want to lose my children. I can’t bear that he will influence them to have his same tendencies and attitudes. God be with you and with me.

  9. Rose-Your letter makes me remember all the years of broken dishes, yelling etc. when the kids were younger. It makes me tired to think of it. I have to be honest with you, looking back, I think it might have been better for my children if I had left him back then. I think when you are dealing with the situation, you tend to have a certain degree of denial about how bad it really is. That way you don’t have to make the hard decisions and step out there. Now I am almost 50 and I have one child that is still a minor. He is 16 1/2. He has two more years until graduation from high school. He and his dad had a really bad fist fight about a month ago. Now my son is seeing a therapist too. The therapist (and me) told my husband it was abusive behavior on his part, but he doesn’t even see it. Forget the fact that HE is the ADULT and the DAD and outweighs my son by a hundred pounds. I don’t care if my son was being disrespectful or shoving him or even punching him, handle it appropriately! If my son had been a year younger, the docs would have called CPS on him. Everything is a mess. My husband’s meds are a jumbled mess. Nothing seems to work or it makes him too sick. The docs and therapists keep saying, it will be better when he gets on the right meds. Well, I have to say, if the clinic waiting room is any indication of what we can expect, it isn’t going to be better. We are getting help through the mental health public assistance program in Texas. Maybe you can check into that in your state. Our income went way down last year due to my husband’s mental status, so we now qualify for help. Also, maybe you can find a research program or use the internet to look for therapists who will do sliding fee. Some of them will go pretty low if you don’t make lots of money. There are some therapists who really do care about people and I think they are suppose to do a certain amount of pro bono work. A lot of the pharmaceutical companies have assistance programs to provide meds. I am going to get my son’s ADHD meds through Shire’s program (I hope, as we do meet the criteria). Don’t leave any stone unturned when you are trying to find affordable help. Keep asking and telling your story until you find someone willing to help. It is time consuming, but get on that internet and started googling and emailing. As far as your daughter goes, she most likely isn’t Bipolar, she is simply living in an extremely dysfunctional household and is acting accordingly. Most “difficult” kids are that way because of their parent’s behavior. She is probably scared, confused, insecure, angry and copying his behavior. My son is ADHD and has really bad anger fits, but the pdoc says he isn’t Bipolar, just full of anger from all the crap that goes on in our home. It makes sense to me. I’m angry and I’m an adult who is CHOOSING to live this way. Why would you lose your kids if you leave him? Sounds to me like he is the one who would need to worry about that. He probably wouldn’t want to take care of them all the time anyway. Well, I don’t intend to tell you what to do, but looking back, I think I should have left. It is incredibly hard and I get NOTHING from this relationship anymore. The older he gets, the worse his illness gets. I don’t even know where the man I married disappeared too. When I think of another 20 to 25 years in this marriage, it is pretty depressing.
    Carol- Thanks for the good wishes. I am still hanging in here. It is hard to ditch 31 years with someone, plus I don’t have any money and only a high school education. I did have an inheritance last year and could have left, but I received it right before I found out what we were dealing with. Now I have used it all to pay bills (he hasn’t been able to work) and he blew some of it. So I’m trapped again. Long term, I don’t know if I can spend the rest of my life this way. I need something for myself. The way it is now, it is barely worth waking up for another day. I keep telling myself, I’m going to wait and see if the meds can get straightened out. Maybe that will make a difference and I can stand it. If not, maybe I can find the courage to leave.

  10. Thanks for sharing your situation. If possible, please continue to reach out for help – this is a lot to carry alone. Will pray for you.

  11. Your stories make me very sad…I posted a similar story. My prayers to you all. It is a shame there is not more awareness of how families are crumbling. (You can read Susan C’s Story in the Share Your Bipolar Story section of our blog.)

  12. Sherry – Thank you for sharing your story. I have a husband that is bipolar, but he is in denial and will not get help. I have been living with this for a number of years, and it has gotten progressively worse in the last 2 years. He cannot keep a job and blames everyone but himself. I am on the verge of losing it, no matter what I say, he never agrees. I work fulltime and have been the one that supports my family. He would get a job just so that he can support his gambling habit. Yes, that is another thing, he has a gambling habit. He demands money from me, and if I do not give it to me, the rage starts, the broken dishes, the yelling and screaming and the profanity, I have asked him to leave and he will not, if I call the police, he will kill me. We have one son, he is 16 years old, and I cannot wait until he is 18, I am leaving. On the last episode, I was asleep and he wanted to talk, it was 4am, I had to work and get up at 5am, we had argued earlier and he apologized, but during the night he started stewing and brewing, and because I was not listening, he thru me off the bed and I slamed my back against the wall, he then started crying like a maniac, I was so shocked, I did not know what to think, I do not love this man anymore, I have lost all respect for him, there have been so many episodes, it is a wonder I can still function. I too have not said much to my family and friends, I am too embarrased. I do not like going anywhere because it becomes such an issue, If someone just looks at him in a way that he does not like, he starts getting loud and obnoxious and starts clapping his hands and will make comments about them, right in front of them. I have told him that I want a divorce, he says he will kill me, the only way out for me is if he dies, which I must admit, I have been praying silently that he gets in to an accident and he does die, otherwise death for me would be the only way out.

  13. Jackie,
    I am so sorry that things are so difficult for you in this marriage. Maybe you should check into one of those programs that help women leave abusive husbands. Some of them can help you stay hidden from them to protect you. Try “googling” for women’s shelters in your area. Just make sure you erase all the browser history and google history on your computer so he won’t see it. As for my situation, I guess in some ways it has settled down for now. He is finally on some meds that seem to be working okay. We have a few sessions with a counselor left. His business is still very bad, but a lot of that is probably the economy. It looks like I may be going to work. I’ve had to borrow money from my brother. I hate that. We have gotten a special forbearance loan on our mortgage. If we don’t manage to make the payments, it will be repossessed. The car he bought was almost repossessed. Now, if the payment is late at all, they will just come get it. All of that is pretty stressful. The kids have settled down a little. My son is on Vyvanse for ADHD and an antidepressant. My daughter is on an antidepressant. She is very depressed. I’m the only one that isn’t on drugs, but I sure could use them! My biggest problem is — I just can’t seem to get past the bitterness and resentment for what my husband has brought on me. Every time I start to feel a little warmer towards him, I think of all the crap he has put me through and I get mad all over again. I really wonder if we can ever be happy again. In a lot of ways I think our marriage is completely broken. There is always this stuff between us, plus I am sick and tired of being his “mom” or the “responsible one”. We can’t ever just be a couple.

  14. Sherry –

    It does seem like things are moving forward a little bit for you and your family. Is there any way that you can get some individual counseling to work through some of your anger and disappointment? Without question these are typical feelings, but sometimes it helps to work with someone to try to stay focused on the fact that the illness did these things to you and your family and your husband – your husband didn’t put you through this – the illness did. Thinking of a team model – that all of you are battling the illness together – rather that seeing it as a battle against your husband – may eventually help to move forward. understandably this can be very difficult – you have been through a lot.

  15. I have been going with my husband to a therapist, but it is really directed more to my husband. The therapist has suggested I find an individual therapist, but I just don’t have any way to do that right now.

    A few months ago I went to our church’s pastoral counselor who is a LPC. I was specifically asking him to help me with bitterness and anger. Instead, he told me my husband had a character problem. I informed him that he would probably have the same type of issues if he had suffered with Bipolar for 30 years with no treatment.

    I do not recommend EVER going to a church counselor for help with a mental illness issue. I don’t care what they are licensed as or what denomination it is. These folks are Presbyterian and claimed to “understand” mental illness. They even have an entire staff of counselors. However, it turned out, underneath all of the “understanding” they still saw mental illness as sin. I told him that I had come to him so he could help me have the right attitude and find empathy, instead he reinforced my screwy thinking. It really upset me.

    The denomination we were in before this was even worse, they saw mental illness as demonic. Actually, we left that denomination because when my husband attempted suicide and was taken to the hospital, my pastor (at that time) told me not to go to the hospital, he said it was a waste of time. Can you imagine such heartlessness from a “man of God”? Thankfully, I had enough sense to ignore his advice and went anyway. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is best to leave religion to the church and sickness to the doctor. Many times their free advice causes a LOT of problems and ends up being very costly.

    I agree with you that I need to see this as a team effort. It is very difficult though, because the illness often pits him against me and it feels like anything but a team! I try to remember this is an illness, but in the end, the consequences for me and our family are the same as if he were just a jerk.

    When things are going smoothly, my anger and resentment start to recede and I begin to believe I’m going to be okay. Then he will have an episode and I am instantly transported back to all of the anger. What makes it even worse for me is that my husband thinks I should instantly forgive and forget everything because, after all, he is sick.

    His therapist has tried to help him understand that it is almost like I have PTSD. I’m sure his therapist could help us if we had enough time. However, the public assistance insurance only gave him a few sessions. I don’t think we will do anything but barely scratch the surface.

    Oh well, I will continue to pray that God will help me. His people may be ignorant, but He is omniscient, merciful and good.

    Thanks for your advice. I will try harder to think of us as a team.

  16. In reading these stories it brings back so many memories. My husband is bipolar and diagnosed three years ago. I always knew something was wrong and well the day he tried to kill himself was the day he had an appointment with a psychologist, he didn’t make it there. He was never abusive but always did have a short temper and a minor thing like stubbing his toe will ruin his day. I also found out other things he had been doing during our marriage that day he tried to kill himself. We have moved past that but every time he gets down I freak thinking he is not being faithful. It seems that every year around the holidays it is worse. I just get very scared he could do something to himself. He is medicated but we both think it is time for a change in them. I am just so glad to see there are other people out there dealing with too. It stresses me out to the max. I have finally started going to the gym 6 days a week and I make sure I go no matter what. It helps me. Anyways if anyone ever needs to talk. email me I would love to speak to others dealing as well. It is a such a hard disorder.

  17. Sherri,
    My ex was finally professionally diagnosed 2 years after me telling him for several years that he was bi-polar. Our life together was HELL. He was about 27 or so when I first noticed a personality change. (He is now 40) He has an addictive personality and it played out in every possible scenerio-drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, buying stuff, traveling and exercise. I tried for many years to figure out what was going on with him and to try to help him. All to no avail. I finally gave up feeling anything for him at all. I quit a great paying job to stay home and raise our 2 girls while also helping run our business. Everything was always my fault. I was always the reason he made bad choices. I was the reason he cheated on me for 12 years. I MADE him do it. And the sad part is he really believed this and still does to this day. It’s sad because there isn’t anything that can be said to make him see the same truth that everyone else sees. I knew it was time to make a break from him when I saw it affecting our children in a negative manner.

    Although we are no longer together, he still says things are my fault. He will call and start ranting and raving on and on about things from years ago. He will rehash things that he still hasn’t dealt with and then tell me I am still harboring resentments.
    What I have come to realize is that he has an illness, much like cancer. He seems to have almost no control over it and it comes and goes at will. His meds work…for a time and then he has to find new meds. What I have also come to realize is that it is no longer something I choose to deal with.
    He started out by becoming more and more agitated at the little things and then it progressed to all-out rage at everything. He gave his best self to everyone but his family. We, unfortunately, got the brunt of everything that had made him angry during his day. We never knew who would be walking through the door at the end of the day. The verbal abuse was constant but when the physical abuse seemed near, he was told he had to leave.
    We have been separated for 3 1/2 years now and things have changed for the better…for me. I no longer am afraid of who is coming home. I no longer have to walk on eggshells. I no longer feel tortured by his words. And best of all, my girls have gained a sense of normalcy with which to balance out their lives. We still love and care for one another, just on a friendship level. My only wish for him is that he finds happiness and joy in his life; and he wishes that for me. The only difference is that I am capable of finding it and I’m not sure that he ever will.
    My wish for you is that you find your joy and happiness…with or without this person in your life. Sometimes it is enough just to save yourself. Sometimes, leaving is THE only thing that will save your life. Good Luck

  18. Pursue the Social Security Disability. I’m on it at around $900 plus I can work for up to $700 per month. Helps a lot!

  19. Academic difficulties are also frequent. The symptoms are especially difficult to define because it is hard to draw a line at where normal levels of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity end and clinically significant levels requiring intervention begin. To be diagnosed with ADHD, symptoms must be observed in two different settings for six months or more and to a degree that is greater than other children of the same age.

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